I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
