East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
