i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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