We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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