Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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