I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The power of my boobs compel you
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
