Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
