forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
