What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
