Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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