Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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