You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize