he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
