East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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