Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize