just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
