Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize