Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
vagina is talking i cant
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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