He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
