My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You ruined the universe
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
