i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
