K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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