I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
MIDGETS
????
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
