her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
