are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
