PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
