I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
