she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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