she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize