Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize