i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
