It's Friday. Sex?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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