She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
