Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize