Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
