Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
