shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
