I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
