Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
