She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
