her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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