my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
