For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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