Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
