Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
