im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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