dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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