then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
