I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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