I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
