btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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