It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I love having hate sex.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize