Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
