New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
is wine microwaveable?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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