do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize