I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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