There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
