you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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