capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
accomplished twins. life is a go
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
