fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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