Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
