Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
