I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
