Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
