I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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