Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
