I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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