I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
