I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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